April Fools Day is close. I was hoping to get this post up faster than I have, but you still have time to make this prank happen.
It should only take no more than an hour to make this fun little gag as long as you have all the pieces and parts. I will sell these soon, I didn’t have time to get them manufactured before April 1st, so I decided to do the next best thing.
See video for construction instructions!
Parts List:
- Smash ball window sticker - Golf ball version
- Fake decorative bird - Usually for wreaths, find at Craft Stores like Michaels
- 5-Minute Epoxy
- 1 high-strength Neodymium magnet
- 1 countersink screw - like sheet rock screw
- 1 sheet of paper
- (optional) transparent red faux stained glass paint
Tools:
- Dremel Tool with cutting disk or hack saw
- X-acto knife
Dick Diggler 
March 2008
Well what do you know…I was contacted the other day by the Editor of PlayGirl magazine! they said that they were interested in some Chocolate Party Hats. I said “No Problem!” So we sent them a few last week and now it looks like our chocolate phallic fashion statements are going to be featured in the July 2008 issue of PlayGirl magazine.
HOW COOL IS THAT!
My wife keeps bugging me to tell her when we are going to get the PlayGirl sample issue. I told her I’d give it to her when she stops getting high on my Chocolate Party Hat supply. That’s right, she’s addicted. Sometimes I wish the Internet had smell-o-vision, once you open your DickHat package, you’ll see exactly what I mean.
As for the other bloggers who have blogged about the product - I am truly grateful! I will eventually get around to sending you some link love here soon. I have the address for many of you and have not had the opportunity to send you your samples yet. The orders we have received over the past two weeks have been overwhelming our fulfillment process. I want to publicly let you know that I haven’t forgotten about you.
I am about to offer a nice special to the Fleshbot readers, so if you fancy yourself someone sexually adventurous, head on over there and check out their circus of all things sex-u-al!
Wow! I didn’t expect this, but in the past two weeks Chocolate Party Hat orders from the ladies are beating orders from guys over 2 to 1! I love it when women are on top. 
Guys not sure if I need to point this out, but what does that tell you (besides the fact that you’re not lucky enough to be with one of these ladies)? Might you be missing out on a big opportunity here?
On the flip side though, men apparently like the 5 Hat Party Packs.
And Ladies, THANK YOU for being our best customer! I think that we need to have a Ladies Weekend some time here in the near future. What do you think, buy one get one free for all the women who make a purchase?
Stay tuned!
One of the only things I like more than chocolate is beer!
So what could be better?
Chocolate Flavored Beer!
Gross?
No way…Guinness has a beautiful coffee taste…why not ferment the pulp of cacao beans for a velvety chocolate aftertaste. I was reading in Discover magazine (page 15 of the April issue) that this secret formula actually has ancient origins out of Honduras…like 3000 years old ancient. The formula is so secret that it had to reverse engineered using the expertise of a biomolecular archaeologist.
Alright, so where do you get it?
Check out http://www.dogfish.com/ - according to Discover magazine, Dogfish has a habit of digging up old beer recipes - see here at Dogfish Brewery.
Unfortunately, Choco-beer is not quite ready yet…but should be out this year! I’ll keep you posted
Ummmm….beeeeeeeer.
UPDATE: Help us choose the next DickHat Style! Plus a chance to win up to $100 –> Go Here to Choose The Next DickHat Poll
I have some unfortunate news…
Microsoft has chosen to forgo a great opportunity and not to provide a licensing agreement for the One-Eyed Spartan helmet at this time. Legally, I cannot sell (and/or technically advertise/show) the One-Eyed Spartan until we have a licensing agreement.
I want to thank everyone for their interest; we had a boat-load of requests for that helmet! And although I am a little disappointed with the current outcome I am choosing not to give up on this project. Now that I have a direct connection at Microsoft, I am going to work with her over the next few months to see if we can renegotiate this decision.
So what is the next step? We need a replacement Chocolate Party Hat and that is where you can come into play.
Please comment on this post and let everyone know what you style of hat you feel we should do next…So far a bunch of people have left feedback and would like to see the following.
- Asian Coolie
- Jewish Kippah
- Football Helmet
- Firefighters Hat
- Pirate Hat
- Bowler Hat (
- Pickelhaube (You’ll poke your eye out kid!)
- Bicorn (think Napoleon)
- Hard Hat (Somewhat appropriate for the situation)
What do you suggest? We will add a voting poll next week.
UPDATE: View the Choose The Next DickHat Poll Here and find your opportunity to win up to $100
Okay…so I get an email from a guy (thank you 2me) on Thursday reminding me that Steak & BJ Day is coming up on March 14th.
For those of you who don’t know what this is, think of it as the guys version of Valentine’s Day. Go here to get the Steak & BJ Day history.
Yeah, I didn’t know about it either, but it looks like it was started back in 2002 by a now defunct syndicated radio show out of Boston. Oh well, that’s the business of radio for you. I was going to send some free Chocolate Party Hats to give out to their listeners, but looks like that’s not going to happen.
No fear, I have a new idea…everyone seems to have some sort of radio station shock jock in their city so here’s what I want to do. (ex. Bubba the Love Sponge) Call in or email your local morning show and tell them to contact me through this blog’s contact page. The first three stations that get in touch with me and I will send some free samples that they can give out to their listeners before or on Steak & BJ Day.
Anyway as for Steak and BJ Day…a special holiday like this doesn’t become an National holiday until YOU make it that way - so tell your friends. Remember we only ship on Mondays and Wednesdays so get your order in before March 12th so that you can celebrate your Steak and BJ Day in warm chocolate covered style!
Out of some weird act of God, Chocolate Party Hats ended up on Gizmodo (thanks Jason Chen) this past Wednesday.
We have been deluged with orders and requests…thank you we appreciate the heavy response! Three things have come to my attention based on the responses we have received that I want to clarify.
- Privacy
- Nutritional Facts
- Is this a real product?
I’ll start with the last concern. Yes, it is very real! I will take pictures tonight to show the packaging and scale of the product so stay tuned.
Nutritional Facts - Ingredients: Cocoa mass, sugar, cocoa butter, soya lecithin (emulsifier), and natural vanilla. This product is produced in a facility where milk products and tree nuts are used. It is gourmet dark chocolate imported form Belgium that has a 64% Cocoa content.
Privacy - All your iformation is kept extremely private. The package you receive says it is from ANovelT LLC in a plain brown cardboard box. As for email SPAM you won’t get any - I hate it and I don’t like sending it. I WILL NOT sell, rent, or give away ANY of your personal information.
Keep the questions coming! I will try to stay on top of them better.
Thank you,
Dick Diggler
I hate to do this to you, but I love shock value.
So today a friend sent me a hilarious photo, it’s got to be fake…but that being said this is definitely one for the “Oh Jesus, That’s Just Not Right” folder.
Concerned about how your lady will react to your Chocolate Party Hat? I understand…so to remedy the situation I had an idea based after seeing a recent ad in the paper for the Krispy Kreme Heart donut.
Try testing the waters with what I call the “Krispy Kremer.“
I’ve not yet met a person who can resist the delectable allure of a fresh warm Krispy Kreme donut. So I propose you hope in the car, run down to the local Krispy Kreme and pick up a dozen.
Once you get home rub your pony until he’s rearing to go. In some cases you may need to pop a little blue pill or get the juices flowing with a little Internet based visual lubricant. When you’re ready, throw one of those sugar coated gems of fried dough in the microwave for the magic seven seconds. Finally toss one or two of those warm puppies onto your happy John Thomas.
What did you think that hole was for anyway?
You may need to wash your hands because that sugar coating gets everywhere. If you’re not careful it could end up in your ass crack (which may be an adventure unto itself if you’re into that sort of thing). Now go find your lady-friend or hop in the bed and call for her.
If she walks in the room, rolls her eyes, and walks away…I’d get a new woman.
More than likely though, she’ll laugh her ass off and you both will have a little fun.
Warning…too many Krispy Kremers will turn your hot mama into a gross fat-ass, so please use your best judgment. Addictions can have unfortunate consequences.
Enjoy!
A friend sent me this via email the other day, I thought it was pretty funny. It’s a remake of the Burger King Freakout Commercial, but from a Ghetto point of view out of Minneapolis. If you don’t like excessive swearing then I suggest you enjoy some of our other previous posts.
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