Turns out that some food scientists over at Texas A & M figured out that a chemical in the rind of watermelon helps relax blood vessels in the body. Supposedly, citrulline is the secret ingredient found in the white part of the rind that gives you that “little extra lift.”
So if you don’t want to spend the money on that little blue pill; cut off a few pieces of the big green rind and eat that. Be sure to call your doctor if you experience an erection lasting longer than four hours.
Then again if you don’t have a lot of trouble in that department you can always cut a hole in that sexy thing and make your contribution to science like this guy.
Dick Diggler 
July 2008
I almost fell out of my seat when I watched this; found it over on Fake Steve Jobs blog today. This is probably what it really is like to be in the Hillary Clinton camp right now.
Inside the Mind of Hillary Clinton
I love the part about the kittens…priceless.
Bill’s my favorite, in fact I have several FREE DickHats waiting for him if he would just return my calls. At least I know he’d use them. Hey Bill, call me…
I’m Dick Diggler and I approve this message!
I saw this on Geekologie the other day. Apparently there is a small cheese manufacturer in France that produces cheese from human breast milk. I guess it’s real, I can read French, but here’s the website. Supposedly it’s organic…whatever that means.
To be honest I won’t eat it unless I know it is made from the finest Cambodian Breast Milk – we all have our standards!
Okay…so I get an email from a guy (thank you 2me) on Thursday reminding me that Steak & BJ Day is coming up on March 14th.
For those of you who don’t know what this is, think of it as the guys version of Valentine’s Day. Go here to get the Steak & BJ Day history.
Yeah, I didn’t know about it either, but it looks like it was started back in 2002 by a now defunct syndicated radio show out of Boston. Oh well, that’s the business of radio for you. I was going to send some free Chocolate Party Hats to give out to their listeners, but looks like that’s not going to happen.
No fear, I have a new idea…everyone seems to have some sort of radio station shock jock in their city so here’s what I want to do. (ex. Bubba the Love Sponge) Call in or email your local morning show and tell them to contact me through this blog’s contact page. The first three stations that get in touch with me and I will send some free samples that they can give out to their listeners before or on Steak & BJ Day.
Anyway as for Steak and BJ Day…a special holiday like this doesn’t become an National holiday until YOU make it that way - so tell your friends. Remember we only ship on Mondays and Wednesdays so get your order in before March 12th so that you can celebrate your Steak and BJ Day in warm chocolate covered style!
I hate to do this to you, but I love shock value.
So today a friend sent me a hilarious photo, it’s got to be fake…but that being said this is definitely one for the “Oh Jesus, That’s Just Not Right” folder.
A friend sent me this via email the other day, I thought it was pretty funny. It’s a remake of the Burger King Freakout Commercial, but from a Ghetto point of view out of Minneapolis. If you don’t like excessive swearing then I suggest you enjoy some of our other previous posts.
Dickhats are a new gig for me. My background is actually in graphic design and marketing…I’m a Photoshop fiend, but I don’t brag about it…most of the time. In fact, I used to teach it, but I am no match for Donnie.
Not that his technical skills are better than mine, but he is a hell of a lot more entertaining than I ever was. Take a few minutes out of your time and educate yourself while you watch Donnie work his Photoshop magic and listen to his hilarious personal problems.
I’m probably slow on the draw with this one, but…While doing a search on YouTube to find the best category and tags to post the new DickHats commercial, I came across the dreaded Chocolate Rain song! I find it utterly astonishing that this guy Tay Zonday has gotten over 13 million views of his song. This in turn sparked several hundred other people to do their own parody video of the song. See the Chad Vader version.
If that wasn’t bad enough, it became so popular that
You think you’re soooo cool with your we-beedy eyes, that baritone pantie-dropping voice and your smooth “don’t breathe in the mic move” that you do! Well, you won’t get my panties, Mr. Tay! Not this time…no…wait…oh shit…Never mind!
Chocolate Rain…some stay dry while others feel the pain
Chocolate Rain…a baby born will die before the sin
Chocolate Rain…The school books say it can’t be here….stop! Stop! Get out of my head!
You bastard!!!!!
We got an email the other day from a customer who wanted to share his idea for improving the product. I thought it was very creative so I will post it here for those of you who could use the same help. I added a photo of the product he is suggesting for your convenience.
Dear Dickhats,
I ordered one of the Viking hats the other day and was so happy to see the box in my mail on Wednesday. I couldn’t wait to see my wife’s face since she is a huge chocolate crackhead. After opening the box, I was disappointed to find that there were no instructions for men with a special member like mine. Let’s just say while most men point north, well I point a little northwest. I knew gravity wasn’t going to hold my hat in the correct position.
Being that I fancy myself to be somewhat of a MacGyver, so I went to the grocery store to find some type of glue. Not Elmer’s, but something she could eat. After cruising down the isles I finally found the perfect edible glue and it worked like a charm!
I wanted to write so that you could pass along my idea to others who might be in my same situation. Tell your customers to go buy some Jet-Puffed Marshmallow Crème, made by Kraft. It’s awesome, my wife loved it! Oh and your hat put a huge smile on her face (not to mention mine too)!
I guess I could have suggested peanut butter. Unfortunately, she doesn’t like peanut butter, so I found the next best thing. Hope this helps.
Thanks,
Tom
Well thanks Tom! Great story…I’m sending you two more free Dickhats for your great idea. Keep them coming!
Anyone else have other ideas? Leave a comment or send an email…
