I got this joke from a friend a few weeks ago – I’ve been meaning to post it for a while now – Enjoy!

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A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the
bedroom closet to watch.

The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet,
not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, ‘Dark in here.’

The man says, ‘Yes, it is.’

Boy: ‘I have a baseball.’

Man: ‘That’s nice’

Boy: ‘Want to buy it?’

Man: ‘No, thanks.’

Boy: ‘My Dad’s outside.’

Man: ‘OK, how much?’

Boy: ‘$250′

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are
in the closet together.

Boy: ‘Dark in here.’

Man: ‘Yes, it is.’

Boy: ‘I have a baseball glove.’

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, ‘How much?’

Boy: ‘$750′

Man: ‘Sold.’

A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, ‘Grab your glove, let’s go
outside and have a game of catch.’

The boy says, ‘I can’t, I sold my baseball and my glove.’

The Dad asks, ‘How much did you sell them for?’

Boy: ‘$1,000′

The Dad says, ‘That’s terrible to over charge your friends like
that…that is way more than those two things cost. I’m taking you to
church, to confession.’

They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the
confessional booth and closes the door.

The boy says, ‘Dark in here.’

The priest says, ‘Don’t start that shit again; you’re in my closet now.’

I love food…oh really Dick? You invented that goddamn chocolate DickHat for cripes sake! Yeah, but I really wish I had invented the McGangBang. Two all beef patties, no special sauce, lettuce, cheese, and big piece of spicy fried chicken in the middle for shits and giggles. Makes sense, who wouldn’t want a spicy chick stuffed between two pieces of hot cheezy beef cakes. Not sure if I would really call it a gang bang…it’s more like a McThreesome or a McMFM. Throw a few chicken McNuggets under the top and bottom buns and then we’re talking McGangBang!

I can’t believe how slow on the uptake I have been on this…it’s been on YouTube since October 2008, but it didn’t have its own centerfold on Flicker until November 2008. Oh well, here it is for your enjoyment. Dare I say this will take at least one to two months off your life span if you cram one of these babies into your pie hole?

Photo by gree(blue)n

I found this on Eat Me Daily – their take is much better than my crass commentary…

Each day I spend a little time hanging out in forums (trying to sell my hats) and I read how people talk about sex fantasies, how to’s and ask questions about what’s “normal” sexually if there really is such a thing. Anyway, there was this one thread that recommended an independent film the Canadian comedy Young People Fucking (YPF) so I decided to give it whirl in my Netflix queue. Netflix is the best, they have every damn thing!

So back to YPF…I was pleasantly surprised with the stories, but found the dialog to be hilarious in many of the scenes. The whole movie jumps between sexual exploits amongst five different types of couples.

• A young married couple bored with vanilla sex
• Two long time best friends (guy and girl) who decide to try being fuck buddies
• A couple who recently broke up, but goes back out on a date
• A guy who’s an “office player” hooking up with a woman on a first date
• Roommates where one decides he wants to watch his roommate fuck his girlfriend

My favorite scene was the part where the girl of the long time friends becoming fuck buddies asks the guy to talk dirty to her. So the guy rattles off this crazy raunchy smack and her WTF response plus the look on her face is priceless. Guess I could relate because the same exact thing happened to me when I was younger. There’s nothing worse than an awkward sexual moment like that.

You’ll recognize the “Office Player” guy (Callum Blue) from that show on the SciFi Channel called Dead Like Me. The girl from the broken up couple and the girl from the married couple are recognizable, but at the moment I can’t remember where I’ve seen them before. The brunette (Carly Pope) from the friends turned fuck buddies was just freakin’ hot to me.

Go check it out, my wife watched it with me and thought it was funny and she has a dry sense of humor.

Okay, so it’s not Superbad hilarious, but YFP is really funny for couples to watch together…enjoy!

Oh my God!

So I get an email from a family member with a wild sense of humor and I almost shat myself watching the newest song by Andy Sanborn and Jorma Taccome (The Lonely Island).

Jizz In My Pants – catchy tune, no kids in the room please. SNL is riding the line with this one for broadcast television anyway.

Jamie Lynn Sigler looks supremely hot in this vid.  Molly Sims and Justin Timberlake make an appearance too.

I almost fell out of my seat when I watched this; found it over on Fake Steve Jobs blog today. This is probably what it really is like to be in the Hillary Clinton camp right now.

Inside the Mind of Hillary Clinton

I love the part about the kittens…priceless.

Bill’s my favorite, in fact I have several FREE DickHats waiting for him if he would just return my calls. At least I know he’d use them. Hey Bill, call me…

I’m Dick Diggler and I approve this message!