Concerned about how your lady will react to your Chocolate Party Hat? I understand…so to remedy the situation I had an idea based after seeing a recent ad in the paper for the Krispy Kreme Heart donut.

Try testing the waters with what I call the “Krispy Kremer.“

I’ve not yet met a person who can resist the delectable allure of a fresh warm Krispy Kreme donut. So I propose you hope in the car, run down to the local Krispy Kreme and pick up a dozen.

Once you get home rub your pony until he’s rearing to go. In some cases you may need to pop a little blue pill or get the juices flowing with a little Internet based visual lubricant. When you’re ready, throw one of those sugar coated gems of fried dough in the microwave for the magic seven seconds. Finally toss one or two of those warm puppies onto your happy John Thomas.

What did you think that hole was for anyway?

You may need to wash your hands because that sugar coating gets everywhere. If you’re not careful it could end up in your ass crack (which may be an adventure unto itself if you’re into that sort of thing). Now go find your lady-friend or hop in the bed and call for her.

If she walks in the room, rolls her eyes, and walks away…I’d get a new woman.

More than likely though, she’ll laugh her ass off and you both will have a little fun.

Warning…too many Krispy Kremers will turn your hot mama into a gross fat-ass, so please use your best judgment. Addictions can have unfortunate consequences.

Enjoy!