Okay, so after upgrading Wordpress the other day…I f’ed up the contact us form. So if you are visiting again and sent us a message through the contact us form in the past it when into a black hole. I apologize.
It’s fixed now.
Thanks for giving us your feedback. Please send you questions again.
Dick Diggler 
January 2008
Okay, so I’m a sucker for slap stick. When I was a snot-nosed little fetus I loved the Three Stooges, The Little Rascals, and every movie with visual gags and “potty humor” that my mom always said was dumb.
There I said it!
Anywhoodle, I shot a worship email over to the guys at SevenOhFive.com to see if they could help me come up with some good ideas for future DickHats commercials. Roman Cortez was cool about the whole thing. He filled me in on all the behind-the-scenes stuff they were doing and did me a righteous solid. For being such a long time loyal fan, Roman sent me a sneak preview link to their newest film festival entry called, “Signerz.”
FANTASORGASMIC…is the only word I have for it!
The production quality and photography are amazing. The storyline is so choice! 705’s writing has matured exponentially over the years. Oh and Roman, I’m going to need the digits on that hot young Kelly referee girl (in Signerz). Not to be too pushy, but I also need you to put in a good word for me…tell her I’m rich, good looking, and that I’ll be her chocolate covered luv ma’cheen any day.
Man, I’d smack it up, flip it, and rub it down…oh nooooooo! But don’t tell her that part…
If you’ve never seen the works of SevenOhFive, get your booty over there and give a little attention. Yeah some of the older stuff is made for a teen to early twenties, but hey, at least they know their audience? I can appreciate what it takes to make shorts like these because I’ve been there done that…it’s not that easy. To me, the most impressive part is that they work on budgets of less than the cost of a 40” flat screen TV.
My personal favs are the Zappka aka Space Rocker episode, and this Timmy Chow commercial. Check it out!
Popping though my Google Blog Alerts last night, I found out I am being watched!
I want to give a shout out to the GeekFury blog for recognizing DickHats! I appreciate the post and props. May Buddha bless you with a thousand joys this year. Send me your address via our Contact Us link and I will send you a few chocolate hats to surprise your wife for Valentine’s Day.
Or you could always save them for April Fools day! 
Thanks GeekFury!
Whoa, if some of those ladies on your Hot Geek or Not are “geeks,” then I am in like Flynn! I wouldn’t mind making one of them part of my diabolical plan for world domination.
You don’t happen to capture any phone numbers do you?
According to NewsChannel 3 in
So how exactly will that conversation go with the police officer and how much would the fine cost? Does the ban apply to out-of-state tourists?
What happened?
Their saying that one little girl has caused this shit storm because her dad acted like such a weenie when she asked the simple question, “What is that?” WTF dude, you could have just made something up, it’s not like you haven’t ever done it before. “No Honey, there’s no Santa Claus…” Gees, just tell her that the guy wants everyone to know he has a big ego. She’ll go look “ego” up in the dictionary and see an innocent definition – no harm, no foul…and you didn’t even have to lie.
Americans and their sheltered kids! Wow, next you’ll be telling your daughter not to play with Lawn Darts…yet another one of the greatest inventions of all times! What do you mean they’re banned in the US?
Hey at least the truck-nuts are not covered in lead based paint, or are they?
Dunt, dunt duhhhhh…Now go and get some truck-nuts for your ride!
This site made me fall out of my seat. Steve is crazier than I am! I found this site using the random Stumble Upon tool bar feature and thought it was a gem.
Steve does something similar to the TV show Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern, except he doesn’t travel around the world. I threw up in my mouth a little while reading much of it, but when I got down to the part where he samples his wife’s breast milk. I pissed my pants laughing.
At first I thought it was a blog, but it stops and hasn’t been updated in a long time. Steve must have died from one of his culinary adventures. It’s very disappointing, I was looking forward to more of him waxing poetic about the taste, texture and smells he experienced. I’m willing to bet that most were based on some sort of dare.
So Steve, I’m calling you out! Please sir…can I have some more?
Steve Don’t Eat it! – If you have a weak stomach, DON’T click here.
We finally got it finished! Check out our new commercial on YouTube!
UPDATE: YouTube decided that we violated some term of service so go HERE for the new link.
I’m probably slow on the draw with this one, but…While doing a search on YouTube to find the best category and tags to post the new DickHats commercial, I came across the dreaded Chocolate Rain song! I find it utterly astonishing that this guy Tay Zonday has gotten over 13 million views of his song. This in turn sparked several hundred other people to do their own parody video of the song. See the Chad Vader version.
If that wasn’t bad enough, it became so popular that
You think you’re soooo cool with your we-beedy eyes, that baritone pantie-dropping voice and your smooth “don’t breathe in the mic move” that you do! Well, you won’t get my panties, Mr. Tay! Not this time…no…wait…oh shit…Never mind!
Chocolate Rain…some stay dry while others feel the pain
Chocolate Rain…a baby born will die before the sin
Chocolate Rain…The school books say it can’t be here….stop! Stop! Get out of my head!
You bastard!!!!!
I seem to be getting a lot of feedback asking what the hell I was thinking when I came up for the idea of chocolate DickHats. Well you asked and I must answer.
I’m sure by now most of you have seen the Saturday Night Live music video spoof from Christmas 2006 – Dick In A Box. If not, watch video below before reading more.
via videosift.com
In January 2007, I thought it would be funny to offer the pre-cut boxes on the Internet. Unfortunately, someone beat me to it in the Facebook giftshop…bastard! So around April 2007, I was listening to a syndicated morning radio show out of
Disgusted by this injustice I vowed to save mankind. That same day, I was on my lunch break and the idea knocked me on my ass. Women love chocolate, guys love getting head! If you ask them to be honest, most guys have a personalized name for their One-eyed Willy. So why don’t we go one step further and give it some personality! Hats convey personality; why not make a hat out of chocolate.
Hence DickHats were born!
It took several more months to work out the details like finding the best chocolate, making the prototypes, producing the packaging that would protect it during delivery, and then finally producing the product. Plans originally were to have them finished in the summer 2007, but it took six more months to work out the kinks.
How did we decide on the current style of hats?
The first one that popped into my head was the Easy Rider (cowboy hat). So I had to see that one to fruition. The Chocolate Headed Warrior (Viking Hat) was from the long list, but I felt that chocolate horns coming off the head of penis would be pretty amusing. As for the One-eyed Spartan, it was actually an afterthought. My original prototype was a stars and stripes top hat called the Dick Chainey. As luck would have it, the game of all games came out in September 2007 and it just seemed like a no-brainer to make the switch.
So there you have it…
If you haven’t ordered one yet, what in the name of all that is holy are you waiting for? Get your very own DickHat before they’re all gone. We are only producing limited runs because we have a ton of requested styles to get though. So many hat styles, so little time! Tell me the style you’d like to buy next in the comments…or send an email through the Contact Us page.
Are you getting enough hat in 2008?
If not, order today at either of the following links!
We got an email the other day from a customer who wanted to share his idea for improving the product. I thought it was very creative so I will post it here for those of you who could use the same help. I added a photo of the product he is suggesting for your convenience.
Dear Dickhats,
I ordered one of the Viking hats the other day and was so happy to see the box in my mail on Wednesday. I couldn’t wait to see my wife’s face since she is a huge chocolate crackhead. After opening the box, I was disappointed to find that there were no instructions for men with a special member like mine. Let’s just say while most men point north, well I point a little northwest. I knew gravity wasn’t going to hold my hat in the correct position.
Being that I fancy myself to be somewhat of a MacGyver, so I went to the grocery store to find some type of glue. Not Elmer’s, but something she could eat. After cruising down the isles I finally found the perfect edible glue and it worked like a charm!
I wanted to write so that you could pass along my idea to others who might be in my same situation. Tell your customers to go buy some Jet-Puffed Marshmallow Crème, made by Kraft. It’s awesome, my wife loved it! Oh and your hat put a huge smile on her face (not to mention mine too)!
I guess I could have suggested peanut butter. Unfortunately, she doesn’t like peanut butter, so I found the next best thing. Hope this helps.
Thanks,
Tom
Well thanks Tom! Great story…I’m sending you two more free Dickhats for your great idea. Keep them coming!
Anyone else have other ideas? Leave a comment or send an email…
Your ultimate resource for the odd and amazing. I’ve been reading Geekologie for almost a year now. The writer’s product reviews are sprinkled with a sense of humor that makes me happy. I mean where else can you find links to esoteric products like a stuffed dry humping doll for dogs or a tazer made for hookers. Don’t taze me HO!
Sure you can catch a lot of that stuff on Boing Boing and Gizmodo, but Geekologie is usually first when it comes to introducing ground-breaking gifts that offend and stupefy your friends. So give Geekologie some love and check out his list of oddities. You won’t be disappointed!
Geekologie - the web’s Ripley’s Believe It or Not of Products Gone Wild!
